I am good enough
I have to admit that beyond tutting at Supernanny, before I was pregnant I never really put much thought into what kind of parent I might be.
When I found out I was expecting Miss P that changed. I was determined to be the Perfect Parent. I swore that there would be a bedtime routine as soon as possible, that only organic food lovingly puréed by my own fair hands would pass her lips, that I would exclusively breastfeed for the first 6 months, that she would rarely watch TV, that I would never get annoyed or worse shout, that…well, you get the idea.
Then Miss P arrived.
Netmums have named 2011 as the year of the Real Parenting Revolution, the year when we stop putting so much pressure on ourselves, stop competing with each other, stop telling those lies to others that we’re all guilty of and accept that we are ‘good enough’. Yes, I know I’m late to the party but hey, I’m not perfect.
The reality, my reality, is that:
For the first 9 months of her life Miss P had an intense dislike of sleep. 4 hours was a good night and half of that was me and her on the sofa. There was no routine and no chance of trying to implement one when I was so tired that remembering my own name was an achievement.
I stopped breastfeeding after a week. It wasn’t working, there was little support at the time and it was too stressful. After a major melt down from both of us at 3am one Sunday morning, she was given a bottle of formula by Rich and that was that.
As well as the organic, puréed by fairies food, Miss P was weaned on jarred slop. The majority of her diet is healthy and home-made but it also features tinned macaroni cheese or beans and sausages once a week.
She eats chocolate.
And watches too much TV
I despise toddler groups
And sometimes I’m shouty mummy.
I could go on and on but I won’t. When I talk to my friends, real friends who don’t compete, who tell it like it really is, I think I’m normal. It’s about what works for you and your family. There is no such thing as a perfect parent because every parent and child is different. There can be no rule book, no should do’s. Parenting is in no way, shape or form a one size fits all so there can be no perfection. I know Miss P feels safe and secure, knows that she is loved, is healthy and happy.
And that makes me good enough.